Always
by Teddy R. Lupin
Summary: Inspired by Iron Man 2 spoilers. The arc reactor was meant to preserve his heart...and it ends up desroying his life. It takes a diagnosis to give Tony the courage to tell his former Personal Assistant how he truly feels. AU Tony/Pepper


This is inspired by the Iron Man 2 trailers...sort of. It definitely doesn't follow the storyline, because in this, Pepper hasn't worked for Tony for years...it'll be explained later. And Happy isn't mentioned either...I just realized that. Wow. And I heard something about Rhodey betraying Tony, and though I know he ends up being one of the good guys again, I decided to play off that as well.

So if you like angst, this is for you. If you like happy endings...it isn't. Mostly. But if you like Pepperony, sad or happy, this is most definitely for you.

* * *

I stared at the computer screen, sure that Jarvis had made a mistake…sure that I had miscalculated …for once. But as I looked down at my chest…somehow I knew it was true.

I lightly traced the unnatural veins that stemmed from the arc reactor that was in the center on my chest…a constant reminder of my life that seemed like a distant memory. I blinked, realizing that there were tears falling from my eyes.

Why? Why was I crying? There was absolutely no excuse. I had chosen what I wanted to do with my life. And where that headed…the world had to come first. Any chance I might've had with…well…that was all gone. I pushed past my own limits…and it got to the point where there was nothing she could do for me anymore. It got to the point where it hurt her to see me covered in blood…even if it was worth it, for the world.

I picked up my phone, and hesitantly fingered the name Pepper Potts in my contacts. Would it be better to leave that part of my life behind? Was it better that she be allowed to live her life to the fullest, leaving _me_ behind?

But something told me that I needed to do it. After all she had done for me…after all we had been through together…I needed to tell her everything. I didn't have much time to do it. I pressed her name, and I heard it ring. Would she pick up? Did she still have the same number? And…did she still have mine?

"_Hello?_" said a confused voice that I recognized as Pepper's.

"Pepper," I said quietly. I heard something crash in the background, and I winced. I normally would have smiled about the effect I had on her…and had she still worked for me…had we been two normal people…I would've.

"_Tony?_" she asked, her voice shaking. I didn't answer, not trusting myself to speak. I wiped a tear away from my eye and sniffed. "_Oh, my God_."

"Pepper…we need to talk," I forced myself to say. "I'm so sorry."

"_How much have you had to drink?_" she asked, her voice full of worry.

"None," I answered. "I quit the day you left, Pep."

"_What do you need?_"

"I need you to come to the Mansion," I said softly. "I need to show you something." I looked down at my chest again and sighed heavily. "Please." I heard a door slam and the revving of a car engine…and I couldn't help but to smile.

"_I'm on my way, Tony_," she whispered, and hearing her voice, as tender as it was…almost reminded me of when she had worked for me. "_Don't worry, I'm coming._"

* * *

"Tony!" I heard her shaking, worried voice echo through the mansion. For a moment, I considered going up the stairs to greet her. But that would make it seem like the casual visit that it wasn't. Maybe she expected to hear my footsteps rushing up to see her, because the next time she called my name, it was with increasing panic. "Tony!"

"Mr. Stark is in the workshop, Ms. Potts," Jarvis told her (God bless that machine). I heard her heels clicking quickly, walking as fast as she could to the shop. I closed my eyes and looked away, buttoning up my shirt.

I didn't want her to see how much damage the reactor had actually done to me…and how much it would take away from me…in time.

I heard her heavy, shattered breathing drawing closer to me, and I felt her place a hand on my shoulder, as gently as she could. Not having felt her touch for years, I shuddered. "Tony," she whispered into my ear. "What's going on with you?" I swallowed, knowing that I would only anger her if I refused to tell her.

Because…even though I had made my choice…I'd told myself she had to know…I had forgotten how much I loved her…how much my heart had been broken that day she quit…that day when she had finally said 'enough'. This was going to be harder than I had thought.

I looked up, and Pepper gasped as she saw how pallid and white my face was. There were dark shadows under my eyes…my nightmares had gotten worse ever since she hadn't been there to help me…to tell me that she was there and that everything would be all right. "Pepper," I croaked, and I shakily extended my hand to grasp hers. I half-expected her to pull away…but she didn't. She held my hand tightly, her own sweaty palm shaking.

"Something's wrong, Tony," she said, and for the first time in three years, I looked into her wide, worried blue eyes as she looked into my sad brown ones. "Something's seriously wrong." I tried to put on my innocent face, but she didn't buy it for a second. "God damn it, Tony. This isn't funny."

"I know that, Pepper," I said quietly. I looked down at our clasped hands. "I…I need to tell you something."

"What?" I racked my brains for something appropriate to say. But for once in my life…I didn't have a comeback. There wasn't anything I could say. I stood up quickly, which made her jump back, her beautiful blue eyes still wide and worried, but now a little scared…but I made sure that my eyes were still locked onto hers. My hand shakily found her back, and before she could stop me, I drew her to me and captured her lips into a soft kiss.

Pepper broke away from me, looking down at her shoes, her face completely red. I gently lifted her chin up, and I saw tears leaking from the corners of her eyes.

"That wasn't it…was it?" she asked me nervously. I looked away, finally, aware that tears were close to falling from my eyes. But I couldn't…too much was at stake for me. "Tony, just level with me. After all these years…why are you telling me now?" I took another look at the stats on the computer screen.

"I'm dying."

"Excuse me?" she said, her voice close to incredulous. "Tony-" Before she could run away again, I took hold of her hand, and she gazed up at me, her mouth slightly agape. "You're…no, you're not. You're not dying. You…you can't be."

"I am, Pepper," I said quietly, hanging my head in something similar to shame. "I've tried everything to stop it…but every time…it just gets worse. It's just getting worse. I…" And then I slowly unbuttoned my shirt, and Pepper gasped in horror.

"Oh, God," she said shakily. "What happened to you?"

"I built the reactor to save my life," I explained sadly, as she traced her fingers along the veins. "I didn't know…I didn't know that it would have this effect on me. It's kept the shrapnel out of my heart…but now my body's rejecting it. I don't have much time left."

"Oh, Tony," she whispered, kissing my chest, right above the reactor. "I'm so sorry."

"I dunno…maybe it would've been better if Yinsen just let me die in that cave…all those years ago," I said bitterly. "It would've saved me so much."

"No, it wouldn't have," Pepper said, her voice close to silent, though sounding angry at the same time. "Obadiah would've taken control of the company…and we would've lost you forever. Iron Man would never have existed."

"And maybe that would've been better for everyone," I said. "For _you_, Pepper."

"I couldn't live without you, Tony," she admitted to me, her voice hoarse. "I can't live without you."

"You need to, Virginia," I said, and she looked at me in shock…it was the first time since I'd met her that I'd called her by her real name. "You're the only one I trust…you're all I have."

"What do you need me to do?" I could tell that she was afraid…she was trembling. But if she was still the Pepper I knew…the Pepper Potts I fell in love with…she would do anything I asked.

"I never had a family, Pepper, save my parents…and Rhodey…and you," I started to say. I knew what I wanted from her…but I wasn't sure how to say it. "My parents are gone…they left their legacy for me to fulfill. Rhodey…" I broke off. Talking about my former best friend was painful enough. Every day, I find it so hard to believe that someone I'd trusted for so long…betrayed my trust…again. "You're the only member of my family left, Pepper. And that's why I must ask you to carry on my legacy."

"What?"

"You're my heir," I said simply. "You'll run my company…and I know you'll be great. You deserved better than to be my assistant. You deserved to be a goddess." Tears continued to fall from her eyes, but the closest thing to a smile I knew appeared on her face…and probably on mine.

"Why?" she managed to ask, shaking her head while she wiped tears off her cheeks.

"Because…" I paused.

_Should I tell her…should I say the words...or will that just make it worse?_

"Because I love you," I finally said, suddenly feeling like something heavy had been lifted off my chest. Automatically, with a faint glimmer of hope, I looked down…expecting…I don't know what. Was I expecting the scars to magically go away…so I could live to a ripe old age?

But all I saw was the arc reactor that had saved my life…and was now killing me. I had a sort of twisted reverence for it…after all…my father had invented it. And I had improved it…made it smaller. But that I should be taken from my life...from Pepper...by the very thing I created to protect my heart...well, I found it ironic.

"You…love…me?" Pepper asked, her eyes searching my face for any sign of a lie. "But-" She sighed. "Even now…after all this time?" And I knew her question to mean, "_After I abandoned you_?" I smiled slightly, the most I could manage despite the circumstances, and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"Always."

THE END

* * *

Aww...wasn't it sweet? Yeah. Depressing. I know. That was sort of the point.

Well...as you can see, Tony was clearly not saved, except for his heart.

I was also inspired by a few other stories, whether books or films. I know _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows _inspired the last line, but I can't think of any of the others now. If you vaguely recognize any of the dialogue, or even some of Tony's thoughts...you probably do recognize it from something else. :)

Please review-

William D. J. Watson


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